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A Drunken Barn Owl

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Created on 2011-10-12 01:49:00 (#1097507), last updated 2012-11-08 (258 weeks ago)

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Hello There!

Welcome to this heaping online sack of text-based disgorgement ALSO KNOWN AS MY PERSONAL BLOG. Here you’ll find terrible grammar, emotional CAPS LOCK, made up words, and typos galore.

My name is Carli. I don’t really have any endearing nicknames and all wayward attempts to habituate others into calling me something fancier and special like Moonjava, or Steve has been riddled with hardship and tears.

I’m in my mid 20’s and reside in the grassy Highlands of Canada with my trusty steed, K where I toil away under the intense heat of the unforgiving sun everyday and desperately forage the hard earth for unclaimed sugar beets in exchange for a meager pay of expired Kelloggs All-Bran® bars and some loose change of questionable origin.

I was born under a new moon in an age ruled by giant celestial crab monsters thus rendering me as some sort of Zodiac monstrosity boasting a hard outer shell and soft inner meat. It’s probably ultra stereotypical, but my hobbies include sifting through sand to eat microscopic organisms, being dipped in butter, and waving my claws menacingly at potential mates while encasing my body in self-blown bubbles. If you also enjoy these things, we’ll probably become fast friends.

This site really doesn’t have any rhyme or reason other than to purge my deepest dankest thoughts in long, run on sentences akin to that of a violent episode of diarrhea and whatever else I find that I feel like sharing with any harsh, judgmental readers I may have acquired in my exploits. Writing nonsense about my daily life and skewed perceptions of reality until I’m literally a dried up husk of a man is super therapeutic and beneficial to my overall psyche.

Most of my entries are sadly locked to the general public, but anyone/everyone is free to add me to gain access. My secrets are pretty boring and tame, but I just like to make sure my MORTAL ENEMIES have no fuel in which to burn me with down the road, or something like that (no.)

Other places you can find me:


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